(EN/CN)
There must be transformation and change when we grow up especially during our puberty, a maturing stage from a child becoming an adult.
This process is very important in life.
It is a stage that we kind of knowing what we are doing and feeling we are autonomous.
We start having our own understand and concept to life.
But in fact, we are still not that independent yet including our finance, relationships and outlook etc
So somehow, deep down from our heart, we still want some guidance and support from our parents so we can feel safe to be on our own.
Now, home and parents play an important role here.
When we start to generate our own ideas, even if it’s a silly thought, but for a kid or teenager, we are so excited to share it with our parents because it’s like our creation and this is very genuine, pure and vulnerable.
However, what we want from them is not how they think about our ideas
but a free space for us to express ourselves.
No matter how unique or crazy our thoughts are,
we want our needs, questions, curiosity and creativity to be allowed.
This is truly what we want deep down our heart.
If we didn’t have an acceptable space like this,
Even when we are a grown-up, fear just comes up whenever we want to express our true selves.
We are afraid to be seen.
We dare not get out of our comfort zone.
Because once we are exposed, it reminds us how painful it was to be rejected from our parents, whom we trust the most.
After rejection, shame and self-doubt unfold.
Am I not good enough?
Is my thought so shameful?
Is my question too stupid or weird?
So I am rejected and not accepted?
Even after years, when we want to do something different from others, these self-doubt are recalled.
But the most ironic fact is everyone of us is never the same.
All of us have our own uniqueness.
Our blueprints are definitely different.
What makes us the most fulfilling and “successful” in life is to be our true and unique selves.
Our body actually store a lot of emotions of being rejected in this case.
Chest is closed-off. We want to hide from others. Heads are lowered. Our voice is small.
These are all the tensions in our nervous system and makes it imbalance.
Through using my B15 this time together with my personalised Kundalini Yoga practice, I cried like hell and a voice comes up from my body,
“I don’t want my memory and connection with my mom is only pain from rejection.
There are a lot more than that. There is so much love between us behind the pain also.”
I cried even harder because I can truly feel the power of love.
It goes beyond the pain.
It supports me to go through the pain because love is greater.
With this great love, I am willing to step out of my comfort zone.
With this powerful love, I choose to live well.
I would love to live well with my mom freely without resentment.
I don’t want to talk to my mom with an armor on just because I am afraid of this pain.
This time, I choose Love.
I wish you all the best.
To resolve the relationship with your inner child and the relationship with your parents like peeling an onion with this greatest love.
Don’t forget there is always beauty at the core of the onion.
I hope my sharing can support you letting go of any attachment and reach the beauty by seeing it from a higher vision.
Always remember to
Live well.
Satya xx
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<B15 - 從小孩走到成熟的階段>
在我們童年成長的過程，總會遇上改變。
尤其是青春期時，這個從小孩慢慢變得成熟的階段。
這個階段是十分重要的。
這是一個人開始懂事，開始感到有自主能力的時候，
所以我們都對自己的生命有點了解或想法，
但又還未完全獨立，包括財務、人際、親密關係、世界觀等等，
所以我們依然想要父母的護航。
家和父母就成了很重要的角色。
我們開始有自己想法，
自己是多麼興奮因為這是我的忽發奇想，是我的創造，
這是如此真實、純真、珍貴而赤裸的。
所以我們自然想急不及待跟父母或最親近的人分享。
說到底我們最想要的其實未必是他們的意見，
而是允許我們有自己想法的自由，
我們最想要的是一個可以盡情表達自己的空間。
原來我的想法多麼獨特和天馬行空也好，
我的念頭、問題、好奇心、創意都是允許和被接納的。
如果小時候，我們沒有這個完全被允許的空間，
長大成人後，每當我們想表達自己的想法，心中就浮起恐懼，
所以我們不敢讓更多人看見自己，我們一直不敢走出舒適圈，
因為被人看見時，就會想起被父母拒絕的感覺。
被拒絕後，隨即有無窮大的羞愧感和自我懷疑：
我是否做得不夠好？
我的想法是否很壞？
我的問題是否太奇怪或愚蠢？
所以我才不被接納？
我們往後做任何跟別人不一樣的事情時，這些自我懷疑就被重提。
但最諷刺的是，我們每一個人根本就是完全不一樣的個體，
每一個人有的才能、人生藍圖根本就是截然不同的，
而活出獨特的自己是我們靈魂最渴望的事情也是最「成功」和喜悅的。
因為身體再一次勾起過去被拒絕、不被理解的回憶，
身體不期然緊縮，想躲起來，只想低頭，說話的音量也變得愈來愈小，
這些都是小時候就累積下來的神經系統失衡和緊縮。
透過 B15 這瓶油，再次打開這個部分的自己，配合 Kundalini Yoga 個人化練習，
我哭得要命，然後心中浮起一句話：
「我不想跟媽媽的回憶只有被拒絕的痛，
我跟媽媽的回憶還有更多美好的事情，
我們之間還有恆久不變的愛。」
我哭得更厲害，因為我深深感受到愛的力量。
就是這份愛支持著我走過傷痛，
就是這份愛我願意放下，
就是因為這份愛所以我願意踏出舒適圈，
就是因為這份愛我想好好活著，
我想跟媽媽自在地活著，不再懷著抱怨，
不想只是為了掩蓋著我的恐懼而帶著盔甲跟媽媽說某些話，
今次我選擇愛。
祝願大家能和好童年的自己和跟父母的關係，以愛讓傷痛像洋蔥般一層一層放下，
一切最真最美的風景都在每片洋蔥底下，
希望我這樣說能給大家多一點力、視野和角度支持你看到放下傷痛背後的美。
Always remember to
Live well.
歡迎大家留言表達你的感受，我都會回應。
Satya xx
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